Thursday, September 16, 2010


Apologies on the long post delay. I've been a bit caught up in this thing which is totally new to me. Paperwork.

Now my nemesis, I had once thought it to be a fictional thing, made to make bad adults do their work faster ("Do your work, or I'll set the paperwork on you! In triplicate!), but no more.

When paperwork happens, everybody loses.


Yes, even you.

Surely we don't need all this paperwork? Do you really need to define what "Academics" is? Or that "Recreation" does not include anything which could be potentially harmful to others? (Okay, maybe you do, but explicitly stating that using admins as target practice for the zombie apocalypse does not count as "Academic Enrichment" is just a douchebag move.)

And you know what? All this paperwork is killing the Earth. Killing it!
How? I've made a simple chart to outline all this.

The agenda is so secret, I mentioned how secret it is, twice!

And, to all those people who go from less trees to not having enough oxygen, you missed the part where OBAMA DESTROYS THE PLANET WITH THE TRANSFORMERS HIDDEN IN HOOVER DAM!

Also, Obama's box is black. Like his...
soul, you racist. (As of this point, I have resolved to make no more anti-Obama jokes for the rest of the year. Limbaugh is still fair game.)

Paperwork is also a waste of time. I don't know about you, but having me sign here, here, here, here, and here (as well as here and here if you take option 2b, and if you do not qualify for option 11, sign here, but not there no no no oh shit that's is a pen where's the white-out you just sold your soul to the devil, two senators, and that kid who sat next to you in fifth grade!) And to the wise-guy who decided to make the forms non-electronic, I'd like to put a knife in your gut, if you know what I mean, and no, that's not sexual. 

I mean, they had computers way back when, I know that! Otherwise, how would there have been Facetablet?

Seriously, the paperwork-design-team must have spent all their time on and playing Farmville: Egypt Edition.

TL;DR - Paperwork sucks, nubian concubines were hot, you're a racist.

1 comment:

  1. I have a ton of paperwork to do as well...Every time I visit a child, I fill out an encounter form. With two children, at 2 hours a day each, I fill out ten in a week. Plus separate signature and time sheets for each child, a separate sheet for payroll, a separate sheet for supervision, and a separate sheet for travel.

    It's pretty exhausting.