Sunday, March 6, 2011

Politically Incorrect Pokemon

Today, Pokemon Racism Still Exists Pokemon Black and Pokemon White came out. It has all the spiffy bits of each new generation of Pokemon games - new beasties to catch, a new land (not based off Japan this time!) and new baddies to fight. It's got all the shininess of Red Gyarados, and quite a few new features as well, as detailed here. I'll also go into them below, to spare all you readers from having to make that huge exertion to click that link.

Triple Battles
This is the first major change. Yes. You can send three Pokemon into battle at a time now.


Okay, first, why couldn't we do this earlier? I mean, was it against intergalactic Pokemon law to throw more than two Pokemon out? Perhaps the laws in Unova are more lenient about these things.

Second, can anyone else see where this is going? I can.


I also never really understood what stopped baddies from throwing out all their Pokemon into battle. I mean, you've already broken a few laws by TRYING TO STEAL MY POKEMON.

Let's move on to the baddies.

Team Plasma
Team Plasma is the latest set of baddies. They want to separate Pokemon and humans.

Okay, first off. Plasma. Are you serious? Plasma? This is coming from the game where the baddies haven't figured out biological warfare or even chloroform for heaven's sake! How do they know what plasma is?

Second, does their goal sound familiar to you? Separating Pokemon and humans? Maybe this wasn't the best goal, especially in conjunction with the whole Black/White motif. Fighting for segregation...

But, just a thought. What if they're the good guys? Intent on saving the Pokemon from their enslaved states? Sure, they may seem to be content, but they'd be more content on their own, no? Who knows? We certainly won't know until Pokemon can say something other than "Pika-pika-pika-chu!" (Yes, I know, Meowth and Mewtwo exist. Stop poking holes in my arguments.)

Infinite TMs
Okay, this is the last groundbreaking thing. I'm not sure you understand how groundbreaking it is. I can now satisfy my life-long dream of having a team of all HYPER BEAM!!!111!1one!1one1!1!!eleven!!!

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