Programming languages are as diverse as people. Each has their own traits and personality. Below is a commentary on some of those languages.
A+ - Language of Asians. Many of those who program A+ began programming C, then converted because their parents expected better of them.
C++ - All the cool people program C++, you should too! Don't be non-conformist.
C-- - A lesser version of C++.
D - This language fails the programming test. Work up to C, at least!
Fortran - That one old guy on the corner who spends all day on the porch. If you get past his rough exterior, however, you'll find a trove of knowledge.
Java - This is not coffee. It can be addictive as coffee, however.
Lisp - Thith ith a language that ith powerful although it thoundth really weird. Have fun underthanding it.
LOLCODE - LOLWUT?!! IM IN YR CODE, ADDING LULZ
NXC - See C--.
Objective C - An elitist language, somewhat like many Mac users. Prepare for an extra dose of smugness and long periods of feeling superior for no clear reason.
Piet - Schizophrenics and abstract artists everywhere love this language. They can put random colors into a file, and it makes a program! Magic!
Python - Not much to say, really. It's like that one kid in your class who seems kinda slow at first but provides a brilliant solution out of nowhere. (As opposed to C++, which is that kid who raises his hand and blurts out the answer before the teacher finishes asking the question.)
Shakespeare - Verily, thine language dost appear to be a play! Brings out the playwright in you.
Squirrel - I swear this is different from SQL. For one it- OH LOOK A SQUIRREL!
Whitespace - For people who have too much time on their hands, and are really good at counting spaces.
I'll have a post with more content up tomorrow, with any luck.