Hurray! Another series of posts that will never see its end! This set is dedicated to the types of people you see on Facebook, and each is written from their (theoretical) point of view. Not much to say apart from that; these will be relatively short posts as I seem to have less time than I feel like I should have...
Hey you! Am I your friend? If I'm not, I am now.
Yeah, I have waaaaaay more friends than you could ever hope to have. I even have more friends than your entire social network combined. And not just because you only have three friends, apart from me. I mean, take a look. See that number? Yeah, it's big. More than I can count, and I can count pretty high, I'll have you know!
What do you mean, I can't possibly know them all? I'm offended! Of course I know them all! Like this guy, he's my best friend. And that guy? He's my best friend....too. I can have two best friends!
And this girl, I met her at a party last week. Or was she the one from the subway? Maybe I met her while calling random numbers because I had nothing better to do. Well, she's one of those, and you can't claim I don't know her! Look, I'll ask her now!
Friend Freak: hey
Party/Subway/Phone Girl: who are you creep??
Friend Freak: um, don't you know me? you're on my friends list lol
Party/Subway/Phone Girl: no i don't know you. and im not on your friends list anymore.
Nooooooo! She just unfriended me! Why? Why?
I....need you to go away, please. This is a pretty big loss. I might need some alone time.
But by go away, I just mean leave the room. Don't unfriend me!