RL Personalities: The "OMG THAT IS LIEK GAY"

Everybody knows this guy. The only adjective in his vocabulary is gay. (Okay, such girls exist too.

I'm just reverting to the sexist nature of English. My apologies.)

...

Wait, are "OMG THAT IS LIEK GAY" girls technically "OMG THAT IS LIEK LESBIAN"?

Okay, back on track. The OTILG/OTILL must be two things. Apart from the aforementioned lack of lexicon, they must also not be able to see the fallacies in their statement. (Also, you can point out that their statements are inherently gay as they are filled of phallusy.) They also commonly associated the word "so" with "gay" and begin their sentences with "wow".

Here are some snippets of conversation between a normal person and a OTILG:

[While watching TV]

OTILG: Wow Obama is so gay.

Regular Guy: ...

[While in class]

OTILG: Wow this homework is so gay.

Regular Guy: ...

[While getting texts off his phone]

OTILG: Wow this phone is so gay.

Regular Guy: ...

This quickly gets repetitive, especially when multiple such comments are fit into the space of a minute. Here's a dictionary, now look up some new words you imbecile. Hey, there's one for you.

Now, the OTILG is easily countered. All one needs is logical arguments. And not even in the plural. Just as the OTILG uses a "wow [item] is so gay" template, you can use a similar template.

"Actually, [item] is not gay. It is inanimate and thus incapable of reproducing. Please use a better word." This can be adjusted for maximum burn, as will be shown below, and should be if the item in question is a human.

[While watching TV]

OTILG: Wow Obama is so gay.

Regular Guy: Actually, Obama is not gay. If he was I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have children. Also, Limbaugh would never run out of radio topics again.

[While in class]

OTILG: Wow this homework is so gay.

Regular Guy: Actually, this homework is not gay. It is inanimate and thus incapable of reproducing, but if it were capable of reproduction, I'd want it to be gay so there wouldn't be more of it.

[While getting texts off his phone]

OTILG: Wow this phone is so gay.

Regular Guy: Actually, your phone is not gay. It is inanimate and thus incapable of reproducing. Though the texts you have may be capable of reproduction, as you have so many.

However, if the OTILG has any ability to rebut at all, s/he (There, sexism removed. Happy? I bet now you'll get pissed because I put the she first.) will respond with...

"Wow. Stop being gay. It's just a figure of speech."

Acceptable courses at this point include whacking them over the head with a dictionary until they learn a different adjective, and nuking them repeatedly.

Time to sleep now and hope for a more lucid post tomorrow.