Saturday, June 12, 2010

Ways Obama Has Messed Up

Obama is quite possibly the worst president ever. In the space of about a year and a half, he has totally, utterly, throttled the USA beyond recognition. And then curbstomped it before being hit with a golf club when his wife found out he was cheating on her with- Wait. Wrong guy.
Anyways, here's a short list of ways he's messed up.

The Census- This was his perfect chance to get every single illegal immigrant out of the US for good. And he totally passed it up. What I'm trying to say is, he could've have just ordered there for be another question added to the census.

"Are you a legal citizen of the United States of America?"

Simple as that. The illegal immigrants wouldn't even think of lying. And because all the census' have automated sensors on them, whenever that 'No' box was checked, the secret Black Ops team secretly stationed in every house would bust out and deport them. Problem. Solved.

Afghanistan- He said he would pull out. And he didn't. And got Afghanistan pregnant. With terrorists. Don't give me that bull that they were there before. They weren't, and I'm right because it says so on the internet.

North Korea- So they have (possibly) nukes. So do we (quite possibly). Why aren't we using them? We have more nukes, they have less space to nuke. I think we win no matter what. Why haven't you pushed the big red button Obama? Why?

The Stimulus Package- Wait. We're in a recession. And you're spending more? Good bloody job Obama. I mean what normal perso- Never mind. Stopping there. Sounding too much like Limbaugh.

Letting the Big Three Fall- This does have some upside of it. It proves Obama is a terrorist. Only a terrorist would do something so unpatriotic. I mean, look at Americans now! Now we have to buy Italian cars, or European cars, or....wait. Italy is in Europe.
Anyways, to buy non-American things is just unpatriotic. And Obama is forcing us to be unpatriotic. Wait, just a moment. The voices in my head are trying to get my attention.
Well, this is embarrassing. Apparently over half of the items in my house were made in China. Including the inhabitants. *ahem*
Next bullet point, then...

[Note: Roi not actually made in China. He'd have to be recalled for too much lead, or something.]

The Oath- Obama didn't actually make the official oath! He flubbed it! He says he did it later in the White House, but he's probably lying about that, too. Justice John Roberts is probably a cyborg, or something, with the real one dead in a lake behind the White House. Yes, the property is big enough for that.

Converting the Masses- He's converting the masses to his cult. Change-ism. Now, cults have existed in America before (See: Freemasons, Emo Stereotypes, D&D), but this is far beyond the reach of any of them. He wants us all to change, to break away from everything, to...okay, I don't know where this is going so I'm going to ramble on about how it's bad for a little longer and hope it convinces you. Believe me. It's bad. So bad words (apart from these) cannot express it.

I'm sure Obama has corrupted the innocents of America in other ways, but they were probably so bad my mind has suppressed those memories. Please don't bring them back.


  1. Roberts fucked up the oath, not Obama

  2. That's what the press wants you to believe.