Saturday, June 19, 2010

America, The Best: Mixing Pot

I know you know America is the best country ever. I mean it. Ever.
America is so great, it gets five names. The USA, the United States of America, the United States, America, and that really cool place.

This series will be dedicated to telling you how great America is. (As if you didn't already know that.)

Well, the best thing about America, or one of the best things (Honestly, there's so much good stuff, it's hard to pick just one!) is its diversity. I mean, if you step out into the streets, you get blasted with fifty different cultures (Literally. There are that many hybrids. I mean for just the A's there are, African-American, Asian-American, Albanian-American, American-American, American-American-American, Alaskan-American, Australian-American, Austrian-American, Awesome-American...) and then dive bomb into the wok of culture. (Used wok that time to show that I'm not bigoted, and it doesn't have to be a pot.)

This mixing of cultures leads to an array of great things, all of them....now I'm just being redundant.

First off, there's the diversity. Go downtown, and get food from every damn continent (Yes, Antarctica too. That's what the freezer section of the grocery store is for) in less than an hour. Then, go home, and watch TV in every major language, then shout at gamers of all ethnicities (And be cursed back at) while playing video games.

Second, there's the racism. I can hear your cries of outrage already. Racism? How is that good?
It isn't. But we have so many cultures that it hardly matters. Did you just get cussed out for being Mexican? Go to Chinatown and take it out on someone for eating dog. That guy can go to the nearest bar and accuse people of being Irish, who can in turn bash some frat boy eating a hot dog. It's like the circle of life, except misconceptions and stereotypes. Rather than having any one group take it all, we distribute it, like...

No. Don't you dare. No no no no no. No. SHUT UP!
Communism.
Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!1!11!11ONE!1!ONE!!!

Errr, excuse the screaming. On to...err....yeah.

Well, with America being the stew pot of culture it is, all countries bring a little something to the United States. Italians bring pizza. French people bring French fries. English people bring tea. Mexicans bring burritos. Chinese people bring dogs. Australians bring kangaroos. (Not to eat, you sicko! Although I hear kangaroo meat tastes like dog.) Russians bring nukes. (Definitely not to eat.) And Americans bring racism. Though they were already here, and so was the racism.




Forgive the short, and less-funny-than usual post. It's late, and I could fall asleep right here. This would probably have been better had I saved it until morning, but I just had to write it now. =p

2 comments:

  1. I thought french fries were not french...

    ReplyDelete
  2. They are to Amerocentric Americans.

    ReplyDelete