Monday, May 3, 2010

The Next Super Soldier

America is going to have the best military in the goddamn world.
The veterans of WWIII will be composed purely of people like this:

Your first thought is: we're screwed.
But we're not. Damn it, we'll win that war.
Why? Well, we're not going to send that lard ball out onto the field. Nope, we're going to have robots (ninjas can be next.)

Like this one:

Don't believe me? Drones like the below are already commonplace, for troop transports, recon missions, and precision bombings. Super soldiers are next.

The way I see this, America has its technological advances planned out perfectly. Don't believe me? Well, think about it. In 2007, Halo 3, the most successful of all the Halo games is released by Bungie. In the same year, Activison releases Modern Warfare, soon to be followed up by its addicting successor Modern Warfare 2. A year prior, EA released Battlefield: Bad Company. By far, these three companies are the most well-known in the FPS (First Person Shooter) field.

In the same year, the United States Air Force begins testing weapons systems attached to UAV's (Unmanned Aerial Vehicles). They got their first "kill" later that year, in September. By that time, people were severely hooked to these new releases. Most of all, teenagers and young adults who would spend hours at a time getting headshots and spraying with their SCAR's.

I hope this is all coming together for you. Can you get a better soldier than that nerd with the 13.4 KDR (Kill-Death Ratio)? Just plunk him down in front of a monitor, switch out that 360 controller with one for a drone down in Afghanistan, give him infinite "respawns", dew, and pizza, and you just got yourself a one-man army. Now multiply that by a thousand. Ten thousand. One hundred thousand. You'll win that war in one 16-hour "gaming" spree.

So think about it. America's plan is pretty damn good. Train the next generation to be FPS-crazy gamers, and develop unmanned soldier technology at the same time. What do you get? The U.S.A. winning every single war. At least, until MW3 is released.

1 comment:

  1. The only problem is the 4 second lag between Afghanistan and here, which would cause a lot of complaints