Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Why Does This Exist? (Washington Laws)

Starting a new series on the blog, on why various things exist. Irony would demand that this be the sole entry in the series, and that I will forget about it after I post this.
This time around, it's laws.

This whole thing was sparked when I stumbled upon a Seattle law which stated that it was illegal to carry a concealed weapon longer than six feet in length...

I don't think anybody uses glaives any more. Or halberds, guisarmes, or claymores. You know, just a thought. On top of that....there aren't too many people who could possibly run afoul of said law, as most people are not above six feet tall. One might find such a concealed weapon a little conspicuous, no? What forced this to become a law in the first place? Too many people stuffing cannon down their pants? (Hurr, hurr, yes, I know, I know...)

Anyways, following are some more laws whose existence is questionable, and my commentary...
And some will just be laws purposefully misconstrued.

RCW 9.41.280 makes it illegal to carry nunchaku or shuriken onto school property. Do we really have that large of a ninja problem in Washington state? And why are these ninjas trying to infiltrate the schools, anyways? One can only imagine what secrets are hidden in the teacher's lounge, one supposes. Bur obviously these lawmakers are not literate in the ways of the ninja. They have left off the kunai, something in the arsenal of every ninja, which, while technically it is classified as a gardening tool, is lethal in the hands of a ninja. Well, then, again, what isn't?

RCW 9.47A.020 makes it illegal to inhale car exhaust. Benzene is one of the many chemicals contained within car exhaust, and this law makes inhaling, or causing another person to inhale this, illegal. So, every pedestrian and motor vehicle driver should be booked with a misdemeanor, as it states in section 050.

SMC 12A.06.070 states that "a person is guilty of failing to summon assistance when...he or she fails to summon assistance." Well, I never would have guessed that. I mean, how could failing to summon aid ever be considered failing to summon aid? It's like saying that incompetent teachers with seniority should be fired in place of better teachers better at teaching, except even harder to believe!

SMC 12A.14.081 states that it is illegal for persons under 18 to carry personal protection spray devices, unless they are older than 14 and have the permission of a parent or guardian. So, in other words, unless you have permission, you are not allowed to carry AXE around with you in case you need to protect your body from B.O. without permission. Same goes for other spray-on deodorants. Huh.

And finally...

SMC 15.36.010 states that in order to carry or lift heavy articles or materials, one must first have a license. Bring this tidbit to the gym next time, why don'tcha?

1 comment:

  1. Some of these laws are ridiculous. But some are essential to the safety and well being of people in Washington. It is quite imperative that nunchaku or shuriken are banned from schools. As a student, I have a constant fear of a surprise ninja attack, so this law must be maintained.